1. Gasp! Oil has hit a new record price per barrel causing gas prices to rise. This story inevitably shows a shot of a gas station’s prices and includes an interview with someone who is angry that it is costing them $80 to fill up.
2. The housing market is in the biggest slump since the year XXXX (the year changes daily) and foreclosures are at an all time high. This story comes complete with a cheesy graph next to the news anchor’s head with a big red arrow pointing up or down (depending on which angle they take).
3. Food prices continue to rise (see #1), making grocery shopping even MORE enjoyable.
4. The polar ice caps are melting at an alarming rate and we are all going to die because of our wicked materialistic ways. My favorite is when they show parts of the world that are going to be submersed under water—peace out Manhattan!
5. Don’t eat tomatoes because you might die. And no, the FDA still has not figured out this whole situation so I am once again reminded that I am stuck eating sub-par sandwiches.
6. Obama attacks McCain on X and McCain attacks Obama on Y. Blah blah blah. The news is not a good place to learn about the candidates—there is always an agenda. Dan Rather anyone?
7. Earthquakes, floods and fires are seemingly wiping out the human race.
I’m sure there are many more sunshine-filled stories I’m neglecting to mention, but you get the idea! I guess I'll go start building my bunker now.
5 comments:
Amen! I am SO sick of hearing about gas prices..they are what they are. And yes, I still bought a house during this terrible housing market, so what, I'm going to sell it in 4 years and get on with my life (unless of course a tornado gets it first!) Thanks for the post..I thoroughly enjoyed it :)
PS- the deleted comment was from Grant's account. same message, just wanted to let you know who it was!
I can't remember the last time I watched the news.....it interferes with my reality television programming. Plus, it doesn't help that all the news stations here are in spanish...so, no comprende.
I agree! I watch the Today Show every morning and they cover the same stories over and over again. I thought I was going to kill myself when the whole FLDS thing was going on. They loved covering that one.
This is what I laughed so hard at. You put it into words perfectly.
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